Secrets to a Long-Lasting Relationship

I've been in a relationship with my first (and hopefully my last) boyfriend for six and a half years and aside from the standard question, "when are you getting engaged?", a lot of my friends have been asking me what's our secret to a happy, long lasting relationship.

Kelvin and I met as we went on the same school back in high school. We began chit-chatting at the beginning of my sophomore year. Since then, we've always been talking and seeing each other until I finally became his girlfriend when I was on my second year in college. We've pretty much been inseparable and even made the big move to Manila; living in the same place together (of course, our parents know) right after I graduated college. It's been four years and some days I wonder where the time has actually gone.

Relationship is never easy. It has its bumps so you need to learn on how to navigate it smoothly. How?

Always consider your partner when making decisions. Kelvin and I have always been very selfless that we naturally think about how something would affect our relationship before making any decision. We do both understand that we still have to maintain a sense of individuality as we have our own personal lives; different friends/colleagues, interests and hobbies but at the end of the day, we always keep in mind "our relationship first."

You don't keep secrets. Kelvin and I are complete open books to one another. I don't think you can have a healthy relationship if you feel like you need to keep things hidden from your partner.

Trust your partner and be trustworthy. Trust is the most important element in a happy,long lasting relationship so always trust each other. Suspicion is one of the major reasons behind many failed relationships.

Communicate all the time. Communication is more than just talking; it's the willingness to open up your mind and listen to what other has to say. Kelvin and I try to communicate openly and early on something that's bothering us; even our expectations about such thing like an upcoming event. That way, we have a relatively clear picture of what's to come.

Have time and support each other. Kelvin and I always talk about our dreams and goals. It's really comforting to know that there is someone who has your back when it comes to your dreams. And it's also nice to dream together, be excited together and to actually achieve those dreams and goals together. And if things do not work out, it's great to have someone who will be there to tell you, "It's okay, let's try a different route next time."

Take care of "you" first. Do not forget to take regular "me time" in relationship. Let your boyfriend/yourself have space to breathe. While it's nice to be together all the time, it is also good to be apart sometimes. Kelvin likes to play mobile games, buy things online, watch Netflix series (which most of the time, the series I don't like) and I always give him space for that kind of stuffs. I, on the other hand, like to blog, watch a Netflix series or vlogs on YouTube, which sometimes he can't relate so he always make sure to give me space that I need, as well.

Lastly, deal with relationship issues on your own. Except when you're in an abusive or violent relationship, always remember that your fights aren't for public consumption. If you tell your problem with your family or friends, they, rather than your partner, will help solve the issue. Plus, they may end up going against your partner. Kelvin and I always keep our mouths shut about our relationship problems to our families and friends and try to fix issues on our own. To keep our bond strong as it should be, we always keep people out of our business.

Relationship is knowing that it won't always be rainbows and butterflies. Ours definitely hasn't been a fairy tale but still choosing to stay together. :)

What's your secret to a long-lasting relationship?